DISPATCH 01 / GOUROCKA full day of almost doing things.
Swimming, local history, lunch and a ferry. An ambitious itinerary for someone with no hands.
Read the dispatch ↗THE UNOFFICIAL SCOTTISH TOUR · VOL. 01
Scotland.
Manage your
expectations.
One shopping trolley. Four unreliable wheels.
No itinerary worth sticking to.
A thoroughly unofficial tour of Scotland, told in travel posters and dispatches from the wrong side of the car park.
ONE WAY / NO REFUNDSAnywhere but the car park.Passenger: 1 trolley · Baggage: considerable
£1DEPOSIT
ON HOLIDAY
Apparently.
DISPATCH FROM GOUROCK · THE FERRY LEFT WITHOUT ME.Apparently.
63 PLACES TO LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS✦FRONT LEFT WHEEL: NON-COMMITTAL✦NO POUND REQUIRED
THE GREAT SCOTTISH DETOUR
Where did it all
go slightly wrong?
Pick a pin. Find a town. Admire the view.
Zoom in where the disappointments cluster.
Pins mark approximate town centres, not the exact illustrated viewpoint. Map tiles: OpenStreetMap.
NOTES FROM A RUNAWAY TROLLEY
Wish you were here.
Instead of me.
A fictional travel diary.
Entirely sincere. Mechanically unreliable.
DISPATCH 01 / GOUROCK
DISPATCH 02 / KELSOCulture. With some resistance.
The Square, the abbey and an attempt at lunch. FLW took a particular interest in the cobbles.
Read the dispatch ↗
DISPATCH 03 / CUMBERNAULDThe great outdoors. Then Tesco.
Nineteen hectares of parkland. A distant view. An unexpected yearning for automatic doors.
Read the dispatch ↗
DISPATCH 04 / LARGSA cone beyond my capabilities.
Ice cream, sea air and a visitor with suspiciously good balance.
Read the dispatch ↗
DISPATCH 05 / STIRLINGHistory has the upper ground.
An ambitious castle visit meets a longstanding disagreement with gravity.
Read the dispatch ↗
DISPATCH 06 / AVIEMOREAll the equipment. None of it useful.
A mountain holiday begins with a comprehensive inventory of the wrong things.
Read the dispatch ↗SOUVENIRS OF A QUESTIONABLE DECISION
Take the disappointment home.
Railway-poster charm. Very Scottish humour.
Posters, T-shirts and stickers on Redbubble.
THE WHEEL REPORT
Three wheels agreed.
The fourth had other plans.
A small record of things acquired along the way.
PERSONAL EFFECTS
One damp receipt ✓
A glove, unclaimed ✓
Sense of direction —
Expectations LOW
Contents may have shifted during the journey.A COLLECTION BY PLATO POTATO
Affectionately unimpressed.
We love Scotland. We also know that a magnificent view can share a pavement with a shopping trolley and a chip wrapper. These illustrated places pair the optimism of a vintage travel poster with a rather less enthusiastic review.
The trolley’s adventures are fiction. The towns are real. Your affection for them is entirely your own business.
Looking for Imaginary Inns & Curious Shops? Visit the archive ↗